SS - Chapter 13

Chapter 13

“Dara!”

“Dara!”

I kept on walking and pretended not to hear my name being called out. I walked even faster to evade the last person that I wanted to see.

“Sandara!”

I felt his fingers wrap around my arm gently as I was forced to stop and face him.

“Hey,” Seunghyun said, a bit out of breathe. “I’ve been calling you …”

I made a non-committal sound and couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“I heard about what happened.” he said. “Is Bom alright?”

A sharp pain crossed across my chest. Of course, I chided myself. He’s worried about Bom.

“The paramedics said that she’s okay but they’ll check if she’ll have concussions …”

“Thank God!” he exclaimed. “I was worried when I heard she lost consciousness and hit her head.”

“She didn’t really hit her head …she fell sideways.” Indeed, thank God for that. I couldn’t imagine what could have happened if her head hit the tiles first. “I’ve got to go …”

I turned away but he was quick.

“Hey …” he sounded worried, “is something wrong?” Pulling me by the wrist, he turned my body towards him but I kept my gaze down and I focused on his red sneakers.

“Dara?”

Silence.

“Are you okay?”

Again, I stayed silent. I was afraid that if I look at him, if I tell him what I really feel … I may end up in tears.

“Ssantokki … look at me …is something wrong?” he coaxed and lifted my chin gently with his thumb and forefinger.

“Don’t call me that” I snapped and pulled my head back. “Only Bom gets to call me that.”

“A-lright …” he slowly acquiesced, sounding unsure.

I took that chance to once again run away from him but my legs are short and his are long and he was able to catch up with me.

“Are you angry with me?”

“NO!” I readily denied but my tone stated otherwise.

He caught my wrist and I was forced to stop and face him. “Tell me why” he demanded.

I wanted to. I wanted to tell him that there’s a monster growing and festering inside me but I realized that I had no right. Seunghyun is not mine. I have no claim on him. He can ask any girl to the dance.

When I refused to answer, he pulled and led me away from the hallway, out the doors, towards the wide track field. All during that time, I’ve been trying my best to get away but he kept a tight grip on my wrist.

“Where are we going? The next class is about to start!” I cried.

He didn’t stop until we were well away from everybody else. When we reached a huge acacia tree near the track, he released my wrist and rounded on me. “Now tell me what’s wrong” he said in a low voice.

“I told you nothing’s wrong!”

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

I lifted my gaze then and met his eyes.

He has a frown on his face and his forehead is creased. It should look intimidating but I wasn’t. And it occurred to me again just how attractive he looks. I mentally shake my head with my errant thought. Now is not the time to admire his looks, Sandara. I remind myself.

“Why are you being so stubborn? Why do you insist that something’s wrong with me?”

“I did not say that something’s wrong with you …” he began.

“That’s what you’re intimating” I replied heatedly.

He rakes his fingers through his hair and lets out a sigh.

“Look, can we start over?” his voice sounds conciliatory and gave me a cute smile.

I averted my gaze.

“Sandara …”

I am getting frustrated with myself for making a big deal out of this and being a drama queen. I should have just pretended that I wasn’t affected and congratulated him for asking Bom out. I could have just pretended to be happy, walked away and that’s that. Instead, here we are, growing frustrated with each other.

“Tell me” Seunghyun said, “Is this about the flowers?”

My eyes flew to his face.

“It is about the flowers.” He nodded, studying my face. His face turned serious then and stared at me intently. “Do you hate them that much?”

Well, I couldn’t say that I was happy about them. I opened my mouth to answer. “I-“

“I thought you wanted to go to the dance …” he sounded confused. “Perhaps … you wanted to go with someone else? Were you waiting for someone else to ask you?” Seunghyun doesn’t look too happy about this thought and the creases on his forehead deepened.

I shake my head. “What are you talking about?”

“The dance” he explained. “I sent you flowers to ask you out … I thought you would like them … I thought …”

I put out my right hand, palm out to stop him. “Wait.” I said, utterly confused. “I’m sorry but what did you say? Could you repeat what you said?”

“I wanted to surprise you … I’m not sure what your favorite was so I just chose a red rose. I could’ve bought you more but I wasn’t prepared,” he looks embarrassed. “I know I said that I didn’t plan to go to the dance but I know how much you wanted to so I took today’s opportunity to ask out. I never thought that you’ll get mad over them … I thought you would find it, you know, romantic.” He ended in a sheepish tone.

My head was trying to process his words and my brain seemed to be lagging in absorbing the information.

I shake my head. “But you sent flowers to Bom.”

Now, he’s the one who looks confused. “No, I did not. Why would I send her flowers?”

“You asked her out to the dance.”

He shakes his head. “Sandara, believe me … I did not ask Bom to the dance and I did not send her flowers.”

“I read the letter … the note …”

“And I’m telling you that I did not send it to her” he said in an earnest tone. “Why would I ask her out?”

I look at him at a loss for words.

“Dara,” he said taking me by the shoulders and pulled me closer to him, “surely, you didn’t think that I’d be interested in any other girl?”

When I didn’t answer, he asked in a doubtful tone. “You didn’t, did you?”

“What was I to think? I read the note … I saw the flowers …”

Seunghyun was looking at me like he couldn’t believe what I said.

“Dara …” he said my name in an almost whisper. “Don’t you know my heart by now?”

I look at his hurt expression and I knew that he was telling the truth and I felt a momentary elation.  Seunghyun wanted to ask me. He wanted me and not my bestfriend. But the happiness building up within me soon died down as I remembered Bom’s face. She was so happy clutching the flowers which she believed came from Seunghyun. And then I remember her eyes rolled up as she fainted.

“There must be some mistake” said Seunghyun, breaking my revelry. “C’mon, let’s find out what happened.”

I let him led me by the hand as he intertwined our fingers. We eventually reached the cafeteria which is almost empty save from the few freshmen who are now clearing their flower booth.

“Wait here. I’m going to verify something” Seunghyun lets go of my hand and marched towards the unsuspecting freshmen. He must have recognized someone because I heard him bellow, “You! It was you who took my order.” and pointed to a young boy with huge thick glasses. I swear I heard the poor kid squeak.

“Uhm, excuse me …” came a timid voice behind me.

I turn around and see a cute girl holding a bouquet of lilies.

She gave a bow which I acknowledged and returned. “I’m sorry unnie but weren’t you sitting at that table over there earlier?” She pointed at our gang’s usual table and I nodded.

“Are you Ssantokki?”

I gave a slow nod. “Ye-s.”

She smiled. “I’m sorry we weren’t able to deliver these to you sooner because there was a commotion here earlier. Here,” she handed me the flowers, “these are for you.”

“Thank you.” I then hurriedly opened the pink envelope which holds the little card and read what’s written inside.

Oh no.

Oh no.

“Who’s that from?” Seunghyun was frowning at the flowers and upon seeing the card that I’m holding, plucked it from my hand and read it.

Dearest Ssantokki,

Would you do me the honor of escorting you to the dance?

Taeyang

“I can’t believe this” growled Seunghyun. “I was there when Taeyang made his order. He ordered lilies for Bom.”

Now it’s clear.

“They messed up the names.” Seunghyun stated the obvious. “How can they mess up the names?” He looks absolutely frustrated.

I have a bad premonition. I believe that they messed up so much more than just our names and I don’t know how to fix it.

After class, I went straight to the hospital. Bom was awake and her Mom pulled me aside to tell me about the latest development on Bom’s illness. The tumor is growing aggressively putting pressure on Bom’s brain which causes the fainting spells. At this rate, the doctor’s prognosis was give or take 3 to 6 months max.

It took me full 10  minutes after that talk before I could face my bestfriend. I went inside the nearest restroom and cried.

I don’t want to lose Bom. I would do anything to extend her life. I would even give up my life for hers if possible.

After composing myself and applying some face powder after washing my face, I practiced a smile in the  mirror. I can’t let Bom worry. She musn’t find out.

I was near her room when I see the rest of the gang. I hear Bom’s mother telling them that Bom is alright and awake but to keep the noise down and keep the visit short because she still needs to rest. They all nodded in agreement.

Seunghyun was there too and he immediately stood beside me while Aunt was giving the talk.

“Hi.”

“Hi” I replied. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have work?”

“I called Mr. Yang and told him I’ll be late. Listen,” his voice dropped low, “we need to sort this out and explain to Bom what happened. I already talked to Taeyang about it.”

I gave him a panicked look. “No. Don’t, please. Not today …”

He inclined his head and with a frown, said, “Why not? Dara, these kinds of misunderstandings need to be settled quickly. It’s unfair for all of us …”

“I know. But not now …” I pleaded. “Bom needs to rest …”

“I don’t see why we can’t tell her the truth” he argued.

“I don’t want her to get stressed about this …”

“But –“

Whatever it is that Seunghyun wanted to say got cut off. Bom’s mother is now standing beside us and beaming.

“You must be Seunghun” she smiled.

“Ah, yes.” Seunghyun gave a 90 degree bow and introduced himself.

“My daughter couldn’t stop talking about you as soon as she woke up. I heard you sent her a flower?”

“Um, I, actually I” Seunghyun looked at me.

“Why don’t we all go inside?” I suggested. “I’m sure Bom’s waiting.”

The whole gang piled inside and we see Bom sitting on her bed and looking like she’s not sick at all. I was the first to give her a hug and stayed sitting at the foot of her bed. She gave us a huge smile and everyone remembered Aunt’s caution to keep the noise at a minimal level. When almost everyone is done greeting her, Bom’s eyes went to Seunghyun. She immediately blushed and beckoned him to come closer.

Seunghyun said that he’s glad she’s alright and wished her good health so she can come back to school soon.

“Neh” Bom said cutely. “Seunghyun-shi …”

Seunghyun quirked his eyebrows.

“I wanted to say thank you for the rose. I loved it!” Bom smiled up at him, eyes shining. “And yes, I would love to go to the dance with you.” Her eyes dropped after that but there’s a furious blush on her cheeks.

The gang heard this and there was an excited murmur. I can tell that this news took them by surprise.

I notice Taeyang and his crestfallen face.

Chaerin has confused look.

I looked at Seunghyun and he was looking at me with a panicked expression.

Bom’s mother clapped her hands once. “Oh, I know the perfect gown for you!” she gushed over at Bom’s other side of the bed. “You’ll be the most beautiful girl in the Christmas Ball! I’m sure you and Seunghyun will be the King and Queen of the Night.”

“Omma!” cried Bom, embarrassed.

Aunt laughed. “Oh, I’m sure your friends will understand. After all, I’m your mother so I’m prejudiced when it come to you” she winked at her and our friends solicitously voiced their agreement and support.

Bom looks at me and teased, “What do you think Dara? Do you think Seunghyun and I will get the title?”

I look at Seunghyun one more time and his eyes are fixed on me. I mentally tried to tell him that I’m sorry. I hope that he will understand my decision. He has to.

I braved to show the biggest smile on my face, faced Bom and with a hyper toned voice, I told her, “Absolutely! I’ll even launch a campaign for the both of you!”

I know Seunghyun was mad at me. He never said a word as we left the hospital. He just hopped on his bike and drove off. Taeyang brought his car and I asked him to give me a ride home. I also wanted to use the opportunity to talk about what happened.

Taeyang is a good guy and I can tell that he was hurt and maybe even a little bit heartbroken but he kept smiling. He said that he can’t do anything if Bom likes Seunghyun. He said that he will be just be rooting for her happiness and that he doesn’t blame Seunghyun.

He was more concerned about me and asked if I was okay about it all.

I told him that for Bom, I can give up everything. I assured him that I’m fine and I asked him to promise that we’ll just keep the secret about the flowers between us. He agreed. Anything for Bom.

I kept glancing at my phone hoping that Seunghyun will send me a message. I tried calling him all night but he refused to pick up and he didn’t answer any of my messages.

The only time it rang was when Bom called and again spazzed over Seunghyun. She sounded so happy.

“Do you really like him?” I asked her.

“I think I’m already in love with him” she answered in a serious voice. “I feel like the pain that I’m going through right now is worth it, you know? Maybe he was the one sent by the heavens to counter all the bad things happening in my life.”

I heard her laugh over the other line. “You think I’ll get the chance to finally have a boyfriend, Ssantokki? Do you think I can make Seunghyun fall in love with me?”

“Anything is possible, Bom.” I replied.

“Then if I only have one wish left, that’s what I’ll wish for.”

A tear rolled off my cheek.

“I want to know what it’s like to fall in love.” My bestfriend fervently said .

It’s now half past 11PM and I can’t sleep a wink thinking about him and worrying if he will ever understand my decision. I get up to heat strawberry flavored milk in a saucepan hoping it’ll help me sleep.

At a quarter to midnight, my phone beeped and I bolted out of bed. I tiptoed carefully so I won’t wake my Mom and went out the front door.

 

Seunghyun is standing outside our gate.

Without a word, he handed me my helmet and we drove off to Turtle beach.

“Why?” That was the first word that he’s spoken.

“Because she likes you.”

“That your reason? Because Bom likes me?”

“I’m sorry Seunghyun but I just can’t disappoint Bom. I don’t want to see her get hurt when she learns that the rose wasn’t meant for her.”

“What about Taeyang? Weren’t you worried he’ll be hurt, too? And what about me?” he said in a cold tone. Colder than the night wind blowing. “You didn’t care if I’ll be disappointed or hurt?”

“No, of course not.” I reached out to touch his hand but he took a step back.

“Am I not that important to you that it’s so easy for you to give me away?”

My eyes sting and I wanted to tell him that he’s absolutely mistaken. I wanted to tell him that this hurts me, too. That this was a very hard decision to make but one that I had to.

“I’m sorry” I say, my voice cracking. “I’m really sorry. I just hope you understand –“

“Help me understand” he cut at me. He raked his fingers through his hair, showing his frustration. “Help me understand, Sandara because I sure don’t follow your logic.”

“I just want Bom to be happy. You can make her happy. I’m sure it won’t be that hard to play the part, right? Just be there for her… maybe invite her out to dinner or a movie after the dance?””

“How can Bom be happy when she finds out about us?”

“She musn’t know,” I cried.

Seunghyun stared at me incredulously. “What?”

“She mustn’t know. No one knows anyway.”

“I can’t believe you” Seunghyun was clearly disappointed and started walking away from me.

“”Wait!” I shouted. “Please!”

“Seunghyun” I ran and grabbed him by the hand. Was it only a few hours ago when our fingers were intertwined? Now, he looks stoic and unyielding.

“I have no intention of deceiving Bom or play any part in this farce that you’re asking me to.”

“It’s not deceiving … it’s –“I paused, searching for a better term.

“It’s what?” he angrily said. “It’s basically lying Dara. Why do you want me to lie to your bestfriend?”

“I wish I could tell you …”

He looked into the ocean with a huge sigh. He pulled out a cigarette from inside his jacket, lit it and drew a long puff. He has stopped smoking in front of me and he said that he’s trying to quit. He said he only smokes every now and then when he’s feeling stressed. “You’re not making any sense. Was I the only one thinking that we have something special going on?”

He turns to look at me with those dark, deep-set eyes which I can get lost in and I’m once again filled with guilt.

“I guess I am” he gave a mirthless laugh. “I’m sorry Dara but I’m having none of this.” With that, he turned and walked towards the direction where we parked his bike.

My tears spilled seeing him walk away.

“Bom is dying!” I cried to his retreating figure. “Bom is dying.” I broke down and my knees sank into the sand. I was on all fours and cried my heart out.

Next thing I knew, Seunghyun is back and he gently pulled me up to stand and cradled me in his arms as I cried on his chest.

“I’m sorry. I just want Bom’s wish to come true. She just wants to know how it feels to fall in love.” I said in between sobs.

Seunghyun cradled my face between his hands and wipes away my tears with his thumbs. “What you said about Bom … I thought she had a successful operation?”

“Her parents don’t want her to worry. They just want her to live her remaining days as normal as possible. They asked me to keep it a secret but I am telling you about it now because I hope that it’ll help you understand why I’m doing this and asking this of you …”

“How long does she have?”

“Only about 3 to 6 months.”

“I’m sorry” Seunghyun said as he pulled me back into an embrace. “I’m sorry to hear about that Dara. I know how much you love Bom.”

We stayed like that for a long time, drawing strength from each other. And I knew then that Seunghyun will do as I asked.

“If we do this, it’ll be difficult for us to meet and go out for dates. Are you okay with that?”

I nodded and gave him a grateful smile. “We can always talk on the phone.” I say.

“All of your friends and everyone else at school will think that Bom and I are a couple. Are you okay with that?”

“It’s okay. The two of us know the truth.”

“Are you really giving me away?”

“I’m not.” I reach up to touch his face. “I’m just sharing you … for a little while …”

He cupped his hand over mine and intertwined our fingers and he kissed my palm.

He gave me a fierce hug then pulled back and rested our foreheads together.

I can feel his warm breathe and I felt his lips getting nearer and nearer.

“You know I love you, right?” he whispered over my lips.

“And I love you.” I answered with all my heart.

I felt him smile. He lifted his head and brushed his lips over my damp eyes, left one first and then the right. He kissed the tip of my nose after and then hovered over my lips. He stayed like that and I was left agonizing if he was ever going to kiss me or not.

A bit impatient, I went up on tiptoes to meet his lips.

He kissed me then with all the intensity and tenderness and love and I, was lost.

Dear Diary,

I know I’ve told you numerous times how I’ve dreamt my first kiss will be …

I wanted the sky to be bright enough to see rainbows but the reality couldn’t be farther from my imagination.

It was pitch black and it was cold and instead of fireworks, there was the sound of the crashing waves and howling wind.

I wanted my first kiss to be sweet and happy with unicorns and butterflies but it wasn’t.

Instead, it tasted like tears and strawberry and cigarette and mint.

It sounds unpleasant, right?

But it wasn’t.

It was perfect.

~xoxo

D~

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A/N:

Here’s a long overdue update. Thank you for patiently waiting and sticking to this story …

I hope that you’ll continue to support this and the rest of my works…

Feel free to state your comments, suggestions or violent reactions below.

*bisous*

~mzbookworm4life