SS- Chapter 14

Sharing 14

*****************************

“May I have this dance?” His voice was husky and deep and I couldn’t help but break into a wide smile. Actually, before he spoke, I already felt his presence.  I turned to him and ours eyes met. My heart started racing.

“I would love to,” I say, “but what about Bom?”

We both turned to look at our assigned table inside the gymnasium, now converted into a huge winter-themed dance ballroom. 

Bom is looking at us and waved.

I waved back.

“She said she’s tired and wanted to sit for a while. I told her I’ll ask you for a dance.” Seunghyun looked back at me and offered his hand. Seeing my slight hesitation, he made the initiative to take hold of my hand and walked us in the middle of the gym.

 “I’ve wanted to dance with you all night.” He whispered intimately, feeling his warm breathe near my left ear.

“Me, too.” I answered.

“You look so beautiful tonight, my tokki.” He smiled and I melt in his intense stare. I swear the temperature went up by at least 10 degrees. I feel beautiful just by the way he that stares at me although I’m just wearing a yellow empire cut off shouldered gown and it was simple compared to what the other girls are wearing.

“T-Thank you.” I stammer and look down. “You look dashing, as usual.” And he did look dashing. And more. He has always been handsome but seeing him tonight in a tux, he no doubt stole all the hearts of the female population in our school who’ve seen him.

Bom was so proud and happy to show him off as her date. “I think all of the girls are jealous of me right now. Ke ke” she confided in me when she arrived in the arms of Seunghyun.

“I bet they are” I whispered back with a smile. Bom has a healthy pink to her cheeks and matched the pink princess style gown that she’s wearing. Her wig is off to one side and half braided to the style of Elsa from Frozen.
“I bet all the guys are envious of Seunghyun, too.”

“Oh stop.” She lightly hit my arm and giggled. “Where’s your date?”

Due to the circumstance, I initially decided to not attend the Christmas Ball but Bom swore that she won’t go if I didn’t. Since Youngbae knew the real situation, he offered to be my date instead.

“He’s having a dance battle with Seungri.” 

We looked at the two boys being surrounded by a crowd who are enjoying their dance battle. 

We watched for a while and my eyes eventually landed on Chaerin. She hasn’t been talking to me lately and I feel like she’s avoiding my company. She doesn’t ignore me or something like that … it’s just … different now. 

I feel a gentle nudge on my forehead. I look up and focus on Seunghyun whose withdrawing his forefinger from between my brows.

“You’re frowning” he said, “what are you thinking about?”

I shake my head. “Nothing.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t look like nothing … Am I such a bad dancing partner that I lose your attention?” He feigns hurt and pouts.

I laugh and move closer to him. We were dancing arms apart. It looks awkward but we were being careful. “You may be a terrible dancer but I still love you” I whisper.

“I really wanna scoop you up and kiss you right now.” He’s gazing at me like I’m the only girl in the world and my breath hitch in my throat.

I was sorely tempted to say ‘Why don’t you?’, but it would be a bad idea. “I don’t think it’s a good idea” I voice out breathlessly, and then gaze towards the direction of Bom who is chatting animatedly with Minzy.

I heard him expel a resigned sigh. 

I moved a little farther away from his body. It was hard when all I wanted to do is hug him really tight and savor the moment of our first dance.

We dance in silence until the next song. After a while, he asks “What were you and Joong Ki talking about earlier?”

“Nothing” I answer too swiftly which made him narrow his eyes.

“It didn’t look like nothing. You were talking for 3 whole songs.”

Crap! Do I tell him that I finally got confirmation that Joong Ki really likes me? I don’t think he will like it. “Uhm, we were just talking about the play ...”

The truth was Joong Ki casually asked about Seunghyun during our dance. He said that he was wondering how come I didn’t come with him as my date. He told me that he knew that he was the guy I was referring about. I was about to deny it but he wiggled his finger at me.

“Now, now, don’t you deny it.” He smiled at me. “What I don’t understand is how come he’s with your best friend? Was there perhaps some treachery involved?”He wiggled his eyebrows conspiratorially.

“No, no.” I denied. “It just … happened” I said lamely.

His face fell. “Had I known, I could have asked you as my date myself.”

“What happened to the girl you like?” I asked.

“I’m dancing with her right now,” he dimpled a smile at me.

I blushed.

“I should have been more bold and braver” he declared. “Alas, I was so sure that you and Seunghyun are already lovers that my poor heart already resigned to its fate.” He ended dramatically.

I smile at him. “What gave me away?” I asked, curious.

“Aside from the fact that he looks like he wants to rip my guts out whenever he sees me talking to you?”

“You are such a drama queen” I teased him.

“Milady, ‘tis life is indeed a drama. Mayhaps ‘tis a comedy? ‘Nay, methinks ‘tis more of a tragedy.”

We laugh at his antics and that was that. No dramatic declarations of love. Joong Ki was cool about it and I’m glad to have him as a friend. As a friend, though, he warned me about being too selfless.

Seunghyun gives a brief nod but looked like he wanted me to elaborate. I squeeze his shoulders. “Let’s not talk about other people” I say, “We may never have the chance to dance together again tonight.”

“You’re right.” Seunghyun agreed. “But I don’t want you dancing with anybody else after this, okay?”

“Even with Taeyang?”

“I guess Taeyang is okay.”

“How about Seungri?” I tease him.

“Fine. You can dance with Seungri, too.”

“How about -?”

“Ya!” He pulls me closer and gently squeezes his hands on my hips. “Just those two monkeys.”

“Aye! Aye sir!” I saluted with a laugh and a wink.

**************************

“Thanks, Taeyang. Drive safely!” I say as he climbs back in the driver seat of his car. 

He smiles and waves goodbye and calls out, “You, too!” He then looks over behind me. “’Bye man!”

Seunghyun waves back. “Thanks, man!”

We watch him back away from our driveway until he was completely gone.

“Did you wait too long?” I asked, stepping into Seunghyun’s open arms and he gives me a kiss on the forehead.

“Just a few minutes.”

“How’s Bom?”

“I dropped her off safely. She was tired, but she was very pleased to win the crown.”

I smile. “She deserves it.”

He nods and we walk towards the patio swing hand in hand. He lets me get in first and follows, sitting beside me. I rest my head on his shoulder and he snuggled me closer, wrapping his arms around my middle. We stay there like that for a while, enjoying the silence around us.

After may be half an hour or so, I gently nudge him. “Seunghyun? It’s getting pretty late.”

“Hmm mmm”

“Are you asleep?” I ask.

“Let’s stay like this for a little while longer” he murmurs.

“I don’t want you driving out so late in your motorcycle.”

He kisses the top of my head. “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

“Me, too.” I pulled myself away from his embrace to face him. “Thank you for tonight.” I know he knows what I meant.

“Anything for you.” He reaches out a hand and caresses my face. His other hand circles the back of my head and pulls me closer.

I go willingly.

He kisses me like there’s no tomorrow and it frightens me a bit. This intensity is frightening and exciting at the same time. We briefly come up for air and I put my palms on his chest and I feel his heart beating wildly.

“I think we should stop” I say shakily. 

“Too intense?”

I nod. 

He rains soft kisses on my face. “I can’t help it when you’re with me.”

I smile and kiss him briefly on the lips. “If my mother catches us, I’ll be grounded until I’m fifty.”

I got off from his lap. How I got there, I do not know. “Come on.” 

We step out from the swing and gaze at each other. “Goodbye Seunghyun.” I said, sadly.

“Goodbye, my rabbit.”

Neither of us moved. 

He still has my hands firmly grasped with his. 

I see his head leaning down and his eyes seem intent on my lips. A heartbeat more and we could have been kissing again but the light on our front porch lit up and we separate like two opposing sides of a magnet.

I see my Mom’s head peek out from the front door. “Is that you, Dara?”

“Yes, Mom. Seunghyun is just saying goodbye.” I call out.

“Drive safely, Seunghyun!” she told him.

“Thank you, Mrs. Park. I’ll be leaving now.”

I waited for him to mount his motorcycle and leave before I went in. Inside, I find my Mom with her arms across her chest.

“I don’t like what you’re doing to that boy.” She declares disapprovingly.

Oh, crap! She must have seen us making out!

Before I can utter a word of defence, she continues, “I can see how he looks at you and how you look at him. It’s clear that you two love each other so I don’t get why you have to play this pretend game with him.”

I look at her, confused for a while.

“I get it that you want Bom to be happy but I don’t think that you are doing it the right way even with the best intentions. White lies are still lies, Sandara. I am very disappointed in you. In fact, I am disappointed with Seunghyun too, for agreeing to this plan of yours.”

“Seunghyun is only doing this because I asked him to.”

“Exactly my point! It’s unfair that you use his feelings for you to make him do things he doesn’t want to do. It’s unfair for him and it’s unfair for Bom. You are manipulating their feelings.”

I want to cry. My mother’s words hurt me. How can she think that of me? “I only have the best intentions …”

“I know you do” she interrupts me, “but life doesn’t always go the way we plan, even with the best intentions. I just don’t want that day to come where you’ll come crying and I’ll tell you ‘I told you so.’” My mother looks at me sadly. “Lock the door. Go to sleep.”

I watch her enter her room without saying goodnight.

I lay in my bed, unable to sleep. My mother’s words are still ringing in my ears. I think back last weekend before the dance when she found out that Taeyang is my date to the dance.

It was  Seunghyun’s grandfather’s birthday and my mother invited them for lunch. She thinks that it would be good for Psy to get out and be in a different surrounding so she and I planned a little party for him.

It was a god day for Psy and he was pretty lucid the whole time. We were all enjoying each other’s company until Mom mentioned the Christmas ball. Seungyun, being the honest person that he is, admitted that he was taking Bom. My mother turned her confused eyes on me and I told her that I’ll tell the whole story later.

After our guests left, Mother made me tell her everything. And I did. I never saw her look so disapproving and disappointed in me. 

I turn to my side and reach for my cellphone. It was on silent mode the whole time and it’s only now that I notice Bom’s text message.

It read, “I’m so so happy Ssantokki! I could die now and I’d die happy! ^^~ Seunghyun is perfect!”

Next, I read Seunghyun’s text. “Just got home. Goodnight! Dream of me. Heart emoji.”

I close my eyes. 

I definitely won’t regret it.

Christmas and New Year came and went. My Mom and I went to Busan to visit her relatives and stayed there for a week. Bom’s family went to Seoul.

The weekend before school starts, we came back. I visited Tamtam first. I left her with a neighbour who also owns horses so Tamtam can be with her friends. I then rode her over to Seunghyun’s.

I gave Psy oppa me and my mom’s present of his favourite chocolates and a sweater for the winter. I gave Seunghyun a statement shirt which says ‘Best Boyfriend in the World Ever!’

He presented me with a couple bracelet made of glass beads.

The next day, Bom came over and pleaded with me to drive her over to Seunghyun but I refused. She pretended to get angry and I gave in because I didn’t want to rouse any suspicion. I made her promise that we’d be back within an hour and I pretended that my Mom wanted me to meet her in the Oceanarium.

I sneaked in a text to Seunghyun that we were coming when I told Bom I’d search for the keys of the car.

I was nervous the whole drive while Bom kept chatting away with stories of her vacation in Seoul. I knew she mostly spent her time in the hospital but both of us ignored that fact. By the time we reached Seunghyun’s house, he was outside on the huge yard with the dogs.

He pretended to be surprised of course and I looked away when Bom gave him a shy hug and handed him his present. I let them have their moment while I played with the dogs.

Psy, who was sleeping, woke up and promptly joined me, giving me a hug. “Dara!” he yelled like a kid.

“I didn’t know you knew each other,” Bom said, walking towards us.

Seunghyun gives me a panicked look.

“Oh! That’s because he and my mom used to work together so we kinda know each other. I didn’t know then that he is Seunghyun’s grandfather.” I explained smoothly. Honestly, I have thought of this on our way here, thinking of the worst case scenarios.

“I see.” Bom muttered. “And the dogs are really friendly. And to think you don’t like dogs” she laughs.

“You don’t like dogs?” Seunghyun asks. 

“Only the big ones. These are small so it’s okay.”

I then changed the subject and asked Seunghyun about his Christmas vacation like I didn’t know and he played his part.

Before an hour passes, I reminded Bom that I had to get going. Reluctantly, she said goodbye and we left. I couldn’t drive out fast enough.

Back at school, everyone was rowdy as ever. What’s noticeable was Chaerin’s aloofness with me. I wanted to talk to her so I made sure to catch her by the lockers before school ended.

“Hey. Chae” I greeted her.

“Hey” she returned, not looking at me.

“Um, I wasn’t able to give you your gift.” I hand her a little box with a red ribbon.

She looks at me briefly then takes it. “Thanks.” She placed it inside her locker.

“Won’t you open it?” I asked hopefully.

She stopped rummaging inside her locker and picks up the box and opens it.

“I got you, Bom and Minzy friendship rings. See,” I show her my ring finger on my left hand, “we all have one.”

“That’s funny” she muttered.

“What is?”

“You, calling me a friend.”

I gave her a confused look. “What do you mean, Chae? Is there something wrong? Do we have a problem?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“I don’t understand.”

She sighs and closed her locker loudly. “Apparently not. Look, it’s your business. I get that. If you don’t want to share it with me, it’s fine. I guess my definition of friendship is different from yours. I just, “she looks at me, her face shows me that she’s hurt, “I expected more from you. I thought you can trust me enough to be honest with me. Whatever it is you and Seunghyun are doing, just promise me one thing … Please don’t hurt Bom.”

With that, she turned her back on me and walked away leaving me feeling terrible.

It’s Saturday afternoon and I am sitting at the front porch of Seunghyun’s house, preparing the bean sprouts that I’m planning to cook for dinner. Mrs. Lee called me earlier because she has an emergency and had to leave Seunghyun’s grandfather and asked me if I can watch over him until Seunghyun returns. Mom was okay with it so I drove right over. I texted Seunghyun about the situation and he called right back that he will bring Bom home as soon as the movie finishes.

Yes, they are out on a date. Bom invited him yesterday in front of our friends while we were eating in the cafeteria. Of course, he said yes.

I was done cooking the bean sprouts soup when I heard his motorcycle.

I met him at the door. “Hi”

“Hello. What’s that I smell?”

“Dinner. Go and wake up your grandfather and I’ll prepare the table.”

“What? That’s it? No kiss?”

I give him a peck on the cheek and turned around back to the kitchen. I didn’t feel him follow me until he gives me a back hug.

“I missed you” he tells me and kisses my nape.

I put my hands on his arms around my stomach to loosen them a bit so I can turn around. I give him a proper kiss this time.

“This is too bizarre.” 

He smiles. “It feels like were a married couple.”

I swatted his arm lightly. “Now be a good husband and wake your grandfather up. I have to leave soon.”

Over dinner, we talked about his date with Bom. He told us about the movie and Psy said that movies nowadays are all rubbish compared to the classics during his time. I agreed.

He then told Seunghyun to take me out on a date. He told him to not date other women and that he will spank him butt naked if he makes me cry. We laughed at that. I briefly wondered if his grandfather understands our little arrangement.

The following week was a busy one. We have exams coming up and practices for the play which will open in a month’s time. Chaerin was still being aloof and I tell myself time and again that I’ll make time to explain to her the truth. I just hope that it won’t be too late to save our friendship. 

Wednesday, after one of practice for the play, I was approached by Chaerin and she told me to meet her back stage where we can talk in privacy. I thought that this will be a good opportunity to open up but seeing her expression, made me rethink it.

“I talked to Bom earlier” she said as soon as I reached her. “She’s very much in love with Seunghyun.”

I was taken aback and unsure of where this conversation is going. “O-kay” I said. “That’s good to hear.”

She cut her eyes at me. “Are you really?”

“Chaerin …”

“You know how I am, Dara. I tell it as it is. I am always honest. And right now, I don’t really trust you. I know that there’s something going on between you and Seunghyun so I really don’t know why you’re pretending to be happy about him and Bom. You may have been fooling Bom but not me. If it’s a sick game-“

“It’s not a game!”I cried defensively. “Don’t say things like you actually know what’s happening. You don’t know anything about what I or Seunghyun are doing so stop making false assumptions about our intentions.”

“So tell me then. Tell me.” She challenged. “Do you really think of me as your friend? Why can’t you be honest with me? Where is the Dara I know? What happened to our friendship? You can’t be honest with us, your so-called friends? Can you even be honest with yourself Sandara?”

“You don’t know what I’m giving up for this friendship” I tearily tell her.

“Then you’d better be smarter about it.” Chaerin starts to leave but took one look back at me. “If I were you, I’d take off that bracelet. You wouldn’t want Bom to think that it’s the same as Seunghyun’s.”

With that, she left and I take off my couple bracelet.

Bom was spending more and more of her time with Seunghyun and they seldom join us to eat lunch at the cafeteria. Seunghyun and I talked about it and we figured it’ll be for the better. 

Taeyang, Joong Ki and Chaerin now know our secret. We can’t afford to let anybody else know.

Seunghyun voiced out his frustration and I know that he hates being dishonest. I do, too. But, it’s too late for us now. We can only trudge on.

The next weekend, I called to ask Seunghyun if he wants to hang out and watch a rented movie after his work but I was surprised to learn that he already made plans with Bom.

“I’m sorry, Dara” he said over the phone. “When I cut our date short last week, I promised her that I’ll make it up to her this week. I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Okay. That’s fine.” I say, trying to keep hurt from my voice.

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine Seunghyun. Really. Just make sure to have a great time and treat Bom to anything with corn and she’ll love you forever.” I laugh.

There was silence on the line. Then, “You want her to love me forever?”

I lose my smile. “Of course. You’re a great guy. She’ll be lucky to have you.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?” I pretended to not get his hidden question.

“Don’t you want me anymore?”

“Stop being silly” I say.

“Am I? I really feel like you’re pushing me away, Dara.”

“That’s not true.”

I hear him sigh.

“Look, I know you’re still at work so I won’t keep you on the line. Enjoy your date. Bye!”

I hang up. 

I stare at my blank TV screen without turning on the DVD.

Later that night, I was lying in bed when I picked up the phone and it was Bom. She was calling me about the wonderful date he and Seunghyun had. She was recounting what happened detail by detail and I, being a good friend, pretended to be happy for her. In a weird way, I was happy. 

I have never heard her sound like this and I am glad to play a part in her happiness. 

I hear scratching on my window and I see that it’s Seunghyun. My windows have mesh screens which are nailed shut so there’s no way that I can let him in. 

I place my hand over the receiver and I mouthed ‘Bom’ at Seunghyun. 

He nodded.

Bom is still not done talking. 

Seunghyun placed his palm on the mesh and I put my palm over his, feeling his warmth. I watch our fingers. His big ones against my dainty ones. He replaces his hand with his lips and I felt him place a kiss on the middle of my palm.

It made my heart hurt.

All of a sudden, I feel weird and dirty like I’m cheating with my bestfriend’s boyfriend.

I was about to yank my hand away when I think I heard Bom say the word ‘kiss’.

“What did you say?” I asked, my heart filled with dread.

“I kissed him!” Bom squealed. “On the lips!”

My eyes fly to Seunghyun who is watching me. 

“Hey, Dara! Are you still there?”

“Yes, I’m here.” I said. Seunghyun waved goodbye and I watched him disappear in the darkness. “I’m happy for you, Bom. I’m really happy.”

Dear Diary,

Everybody kept warning me about how bad of an idea this is. 

It seemed like a very good idea at that time and I couldn’t understand why my friends and Mom, even Seunghyun, thought that it was a bad decision. That it was a mistake.

I couldn’t see it through their eyes but now … for the first time … I think I understand …

For the first time, the seed of doubt is taking hold within me and slowly growing its ugly roots of fear and jealousy.

How could this happen, Dear Diary?

I was so sure I was doing the right thing.

~xoxo,

D~

*****************************************

A/N:

Hello to my loyal subscribers and new ones!

Real life is pretty toxic right now so I am finding it hard to sit for hours and find inspiration to write.

So, this Chapter is kinda all around the place. I’m sorry if it keeps jumping from one sequence to another. I decided that this story will end soon and I’ll make it 20 chapters long so 6 more to go!

I am feeling conflicted with Dara’s decision so I am making everyone play as the devil’s advocate. How about you? Where do you stand?

Do give me your feedbacks. I’d love to hear from you guys.

(Btw, don’t you think Top and Dara were adorable during the YG press conference in SG? They may not date in real life but I think they are cute together. ^^)

I have this up in Wattpad, btw --http://www.wattpad.com/user/mzbookworm4life

Feel free to state your comments, suggestions or violent reactions below.

*bisous*

~mzbookworm4life