SS - 15

Sharing 15

So this is heartache …

*****************************

I have never been the confrontational type. I am the one who pretends that a problem doesn’t exist until it magically goes away. I hate arguments or any kind of conflict. So it goes without saying that I did not ask Seunghyun about the kiss.

As I lay sleepless in my bed and my phone tightly clasped on my chest, I waited for a phone call or text that never came. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to hear what happened from him. I just wanted to ignore it and pretend that it was just a natural thing for a guy and a girl to kiss after a date. I should have expected this right? I should have thought about the outcome of this complicated situation I knowingly got into. I should have been prepared for the hurt to come. I should have … but I have not …

I have not prepared myself for this. I was too foolish to think that there will not be any intimate moments between Bom and Seunghyun. I was too naïve to envision all this sharing game like it’s a child’s play date. And I have nobody to blame but myself. 

I woke up with a heavy heart and it was past 10AM when I got up. Mom left a note saying she had to work but left breakfast at the table. After eating, I decided to get out of the house and get some fresh air to clear the dark cloud that’s settled over my head. I saddled up Tamtamie for a long due exercise and at first, I aimlessly wander around until I realize that I am heading towards Bom’s house.

Not before long, we entered their gate and I was already down and tying Tamtam on a fence rail when I noticed a familiar red motorcycle.

I felt my heart drop with a thud. 

For a moment, my legs wouldn’t move. I was unable to decide if I should run away or go inside the house. 

Due to my few moments of indecision, I was seen by the caretaker of Bom’s family. The ahjumma knows me well and called me to come inside.

I started to shake my head, finally deciding to run away but she was already calling Bom and telling her that I’ve come to visit. 

Bom immediately came outside and hugged me tightly. “You’re just in time!” She started pulling my arm. “We’re having lunch. You should join us.”

I tried to disengage and protest saying that I just ate but Bom was having none of it. She seemed so cheerful today and arriving at the kitchen, I saw the reason why.

Seunghyun looked like a deer caught in the headlights, eyes wide and stiff. 

“Dara is joining us for lunch” Bom loudly announced.

I peel my eyes away from Seunghyun and said hello to Bom’s parents.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you” I said, “I was just in the area and took my horse out for exercise … I didn’t mean to intrude-“

“Hush” Bom’s mom interrupted me. “What are you saying? You know you can always come and go here, right? Come sit beside me.” She patted the chair next to her which was across Seunghyun. He’s sitting beside Bom and Uncle Park is at the head of the table.

I awkwardly said thank you and basically forced fed myself and it was a miracle that I did not choke to death because I felt a huge lump on my throat all throughout the meal. I was quiet, unlike the usual happy chatterbox that I used to be whenever I come over and Seunghyun was noticeably monosyllabic as well. He only talked when he was spoken to.

Immediately after dessert, I excused myself citing some household chores that needed to get done before my mother arrives tonight.

“Seunghyun and I are studying together” Bom informed me. “Why don’t you stay a while longer so we can do research for Economics together?”

I shake my head. “I’m really sorry Bom. Maybe next time?” I answered and forced a smile.

“Oh, alright.” She acquiesced.

I said goodbye to the room and met everyone’s eyes except Seunghyun’s.

I couldn’t get out there fast enough.

*****************************

The test message came a few minutes after.

I can explain, it read.

I ignored it.

Another beep. Let’s talk, please.

 

I rode Tamtam faster.

A few minutes later, I heard my phone ringing. I knew it was him. I let it rang and rang.

After a few hours, I grew tired of thinking.

“Where are you?” he asked, when I finally decided to answer his call. 

I paused for a beat, then in a small voice, “Where we first met …”

He was silent for a while and then I heard him let out a deep sigh. “I’ve been looking all over for you …”his voice hinted exasperation. “I was so worried when I found out you weren’t at your house. You wouldn’t answer my texts and my calls …”

I can imagine him raking his fingers through his hair in a frustrated manner. But I am at a loss on what to say so I stayed silent.

“Wait for me there.” He told me. “Don’t leave.” He hanged up.

When Seunghyun arrived, I did not stand up from where I was sitting under a huge tangerine tree on a higher up part of the grove, overlooking the rest of the plantation. I merely raised my head to look at him and we held our gaze for a moment and then he sat beside me.

The silence was particularly painful but I did not want to be the first one to speak. Finally, after a couple of minutes, Seunghyun did.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

I kept my silence and just stared straight ahead, not looking at him.

“I should have told you … Her parents personally invited me the other day when I sent Bom home so I couldn’t decline. It’s just lunch, Dara. It’s not a big deal.”

“If it’s not a big deal then you could have mentioned it easily, right?” I said, trying to leave out the accusing tone. I turn to look at him. “Is there anything else you’re not telling me?”

He averts his gaze and I knew. I picked up some of it earlier during lunch. I sat here thinking about all the little solicitous acts of Seunghyun to Bom during lunch. Although he was pretty quiet, he was very attentive to Bom’s needs and the way he sincerely looked at her made me feel insecure.

He let out a deep sigh. “I don’t think I can do this anymore …”

I felt a sharp pain right across my chest and it was difficult to breathe.

“Bom is a sweet girl,” he continued. “I’m really having a hard time pretending …” he looks at me, his eyes dark and hooded. “She trusts me completely, Dara. She relies on me and I just couldn’t continue hurting her this way … it’s not fair for her or to any of us … I’m sorry …”

Seunghyun is visibly struggling and I want to help him but I am hurting too.

“What do you really want to say, Seunghyun?” I ask quietly.

He held my gaze. “You know I hate the lying and the sneaking around. I am already having a hard time with school and things at home with my grandfather. I just think that we should stop this” he implored. “And … I admit, I’m starting to develop some feelings for Bom … I didn’t plan for this to happen … it was so easy to care for her.” Seunghyun reached for my hand and I was too weak from his confession to react. “I’m sorry Sandara. It just happened. I’m sorry.” He lifts up my hands to his lips but I pulled them back.

I turned away from him. I blinked away the hot tears threatening behind my eyes. I took deep, measured breaths before I said the words so my voice wouldn’t shake. “I understand,” I began. “That’s good, then. I wish you and Bom happiness. This way, we wouldn’t have to sneak around. You won’t feel guilty at all anymore dating Bom.” I braved a smile at him. “Really, this turned out for the best …” I paused, swallowing the lump in my throat. “You can just focus on Bom from now on.”

If Seunghyun was expecting an answer from me, that, certainly was not it judging from the widening of his eyes. But I continued on, trying to make this easy for both of us. After all, this was all my fault. “It’s alright. We’ll still be friends right? Just take care of my bestfriend-“

“That’s it?” he interrupted me. He raked his fingers through his hair and stood up. “I’m telling you all this and that’s your reaction?”

“What do you want me to say?” I raised my voice a little. “Should I make you feel guilty for liking my bestfriend? You said you want to stop this, didn’t you? You said you’re tired of sneaking around. You said-“

“I know what I said” he interrupted me again. He looked at me for a brief moment before he averted his eyes and I’m not sure if it was hurt or disappointed that I saw in his face. “I know what I said.” He repeated. “I just can’t believe that it’s that easy for you … what about us?”

“Like I said, we’d still be friends, right?” I smiled at him, but deep inside, smiling was the last thing that I wanted to do. I wanted to voice out my disappointment in him and a bubble of anger escaped my lips. “Besides, we never really talked about what our relationship was … it’s not like we were in a commitment …” the words I uttered sent stab wounds in my heart but I wanted to hurt Seunghyun, too, I realized. I was trying to be cool about this and refused to be the pitiable girl who was dumped for her best friend but he was making it hard. 

This time, when Seunghyun faced me, disappointment was evident in his face. Perhaps there’s a little bit of anger, too, at my little jab. “So that’s it then …” his tone belied his words. “Goodbye and goodluck?”

“Yeah” I breathed out. “Goodbye Seunghyun and I wish you and Bom happiness.” I restated my earlier statement.

He was looking down at me while I remain rooted in my seat. I am hugging my knees to keep myself from shaking. 

Seunghyun looked like he wanted to say something more but decided against it. He turned his back from me abruptly and walked away towards his bike and I watched him sped out away from the grove where our story began, without looking back. Not even once.

*****************************

I was on auto-pilot the next few days at school. I went to class, talked to friends, attended the play’s rehearsal and even ate lunch with Bom and Seunghyun with the rest of the gang, without crying. In fact, I never shed a single tear after saying goodbye to Seunghyun. It felt like my heart was apart from my body. I could not feel it. It was not there. A couple of times, I placed my hand over my left chest just to feel if it was still beating because it felt numb. But all I felt was a huge gaping hole where my heart used to be. It scared me to be calm like this. It was eerie. But I was more hyper, livelier than I’ve ever been and my friends took notice. Minzy said that I turned into an Energizer bunny.

I was especially alert during the two rehearsals we’ve had this week. After all, Seunghyun was there. I did not want him to see me being mopey. I was happy and glad. Truly. He and Bom love each other so all is well in the world.

That Saturday, it was Taeyang’s birthday and everyone decided to go to a noraebang once again where we went before for Bom’s party. I went in high spirits. We are also going to finalize our plan for the Senior’s MT expedition which happens every last weekend of January. All the seniors from school go to this event as a last hurrah before all the exams and college preparations start.

Like any regular day when the rest of the gang hangs out, everyone was rowdy and loud and generally in a party mood. Even I, who smiled at Bom when she came in with Seunghyun felt festive. I sang and danced and joined along with the merry-making.

I was doing fine. I was happy. I was okay.

Until reality hit me.                                                                                    

Until it finally came crashing down on me without a warning.

Bom was singing Genie by SNSD complete with the dance steps and she was, as usual, amazing. When she was done and we were clapping and yelling for more, she sat beside Seunghyun and he smiled at her looking like Bom is the most adorable thing in the world and he casually wrapped an arm around Bom which made her blush.

I was sitting adjacent to their seat so I could see their side profiles. Bom was sitting nearer to me.

All of a sudden, Seunghyun pulls Bom closer and kissed her on the right cheek which resulted to cheers from our friends and Seungri yelling for more.

I froze on this unexpected PDA.

I couldn’t breathe all of a sudden.

Was it my imagination when I saw Seunghyun glance my way just before he pulled his lips away from Bom’s cheek?

I did not have time to think much anymore as I found myself standing up and leaving the room.

“Where are you going?” asked Minzy.

“Restroom,” I managed to croak out, just before the first hot tear fell.

My knees were shaking and I was half-blind from the dam of tears as I find my way out of the noraebang. I couldn’t breathe and needed some open space. In my haste, I almost caused a waiter to spill the drinks he had on a tray along the dimly-lit hallway. I was too much in a hurry to even apologize.

It was still hours yet before nightfall but it was cloudy and the sky was threatening of rain when I finally was out of the establishment.

I walked towards the narrow alley beside the building and sank to my knees when I reached it. I was too weak. The scene earlier felt like a physical blow and I couldn’t handle it. I was letting out loud, heaving sobs as I clutch the clothes above my left chest.

It was too painful.

It was too much.

My dormant heart has finally awoken and feels like an active volcano threatening to rip out my chest. The pain fills me within my core and spread throughout my body. I was shaking uncontrollably.

I felt angry. I felt pain. I felt betrayed.

Why Seunghyun? Why? My mind was screaming. Why did you have to let me see that?

And then, my dark thoughts turned to Bom. It was all Bom’s fault. She was the reason why all this happened. Why did she have to be sick? Why didn’t she just die?

But as soon as those thoughts came, guilt came just as quickly.

I was shaking my head furiously. No. No. Oh, God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I don’t wish Bom dead. I’m sorry … I’m sorry …

I was looking up at the heavens saying ‘Sorry … Sorry’ over and over when I felt a warm hand at my back.

“Dara, are you okay?” It was Chaerin. She knelt beside me and hugged me. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Chae! I didn’t mean it” I wailed. “I don’t want Bom to die.”

She stared at me silently but kept running her hand up and down my back. “Of course” she said finally and hugs me again.

“I’m just so hurt, Chae. My heart,” I was repeatedly beating my palm against my chest, “my heart, it hurts so much. It hurts so much.” A fresh wave of tears erupted again. “Make it stop, please. Make it stop …”

“Sshhh…” Chaerin soothes. “It will be okay Dee … it will be okay …”

But I know that it wouldn’t.

Nothing is going to be okay again.

Because my heart has been obliterated into tiny million pieces.

*****************************

A/N:

Hi lovelies! 

It’s been a while, huh?

Sorry for all the drama but we all know that this is coming, right?

Do let me know what you think. I love reading your comments.

Honestly, I’m kinda sad that this is the least popular among my three stories because this is my favourite but hey, as long as you, those who’ve subscribed and continued to show some love for this fic are happy, then I’ll be happy too.

I was finally inspired to write following the Tabisan interaction in Japan and now, the news about Dara starring in a web drama! Yey! I can’t wait!

I have this up in Wattpad, btw --http://www.wattpad.com/user/mzbookworm4life.

Feel free to state your comments, suggestions or violent reactions below.

*bisous*

~mzbookworm4life

On My Way to You - 14

Seunghyun ~~ Apparently, I’m not a man

********************************************

Something woke me from my sleep as head jerks up suddenly. I groan. My head feels heavy and I let it fall back down. Hard. My face comes in contact with soft leather. Oh, why am I in my couch? I’m supposed to be at the villa today. I open one eye and then the other. I think back on what happened last night. Oh, right. I went to a friend’s birthday celebration and I drank too much so I asked Jjangme to send me here instead.

Which brings me back … I was woken up by something … or should I say someone? I crawl on my elbows to get to the arm rest of the couch and rested my chin on it. With bleary vision I see a shirt flying … wait, I rub my eyes with the back of a hand and looked again. It’s Park. She’s wearing an old gray t-shirt that looks to be too big since it’s slipping off one shoulder. I squint my eyes; she doesn’t appear to be wearing pants. I grin almost immediately. She is wearing socks though, almost knee-length, pink with white hearts.

What is she doing? Is she pretending to be bird? Or is she having epilepsy? I see her flapping her arms and around back and forth, coming and going from the hallway nears our bedrooms to the kitchen. Back and forth with the occasional jumping and leaping. She has huge white Beats on her ears and she’s humming. She suddenly pirouettes and almost tumbles down. She tries again and this time, with one foot bended and almost resting on the other leg’s knee. This time, she falls face flat on the floor.

I couldn’t help it; I sat up laughing my heart out.

She finally notices me as she rubs on her jaw and elbow. Her eyes grew wide and her face flamed from embarrassment. “What are you doing here?” she splutters, taking the huge earphones off her ears and letting them rest round her neck.

“Last time I checked, I live here. And what were you doing? I was debating whether you were either having a seizure and I’ll have to take you to the hospital or you were possessed and I’d take you to the church and have an exorcism.”

“Bom and I watched a ballet performance last night.” she snaps, and then “I thought you were spending the weekend with your family …”

Yeah, about that. I figure Mom will not be too happy about me bailing out. I’ll just have to call her later. “I got too much to drink last night …” I say massaging my temple. “Have pity on me and massage my head please?” I give her a puppy dog look. “My head is killing me.”

She huffs but comes nearer. “I told you yesterday didn’t I? I told you not to drink and to just go home and rest.”

“But we’ve been filming for two months straight” I complain. “I needed a break -” I let out a satisfied groan. Park is now digging her fingers at my scalp and is gently massaging my head from my nape, upwards. My body relaxes and I lean back to rest my back against her as she stands behind me while I sit cross legged on the couch.

“You reek of alcohol” she says.

“But I’m still hot.”

“Tch! So full of yourself aren’t you?”

“Just stating a fact, Park.”

After about 15 more minutes and a quick back massage, Park moves away and tells me to take a shower and she’ll cook breakfast.

“Move your ass or I won’t serve you any food” she warns when I protested and wanted her to continue with her massage. “I am planning to do some general cleaning today so the earlier to hide in your bat cave the better. I am going to clean the whole house except your room.”

“Meanie.” I grudgingly get up and walk to my bedroom but not before I call out, “Is that why you’re just wearing that?” I made a show of running my eyes all the way down to the length of her. “Is it a no bra and no pants day today?”

Her eyes widen in horror as she realizes what I said. She swiftly crosses her arms around her chest hugging herself but then, her shirt rides up so she uses one hand to tug it down. It must have slipped her mind what she’s wearing. For the second time this morning, her face turns red and she shrieks at me as she scampers to her bedroom. “Jerk! Pervert!”

I laugh all the way to the shower.

Brunch was a silent affair. Park was silent and was still feeling prickly and when I attempted to make a joke out of her change of outfit which consists of a tracksuit which is zipped all the way up.

She glared at me with murderous eyes. “If you don’t shut it, I will make you clean the house yourself, Choi!”

I mimed zipping my lips, locking them, and throwing away the key.

Park remained stoic.

When I emerged from my room hours later, my nose was immediately assailed with the smell of oranges. I look around and everything looks shiny and clean. The whole house smells clean.

I see Park lying face down on the couch. Her hair is till damp. She must have taken a bath after cleaning and fell asleep watching TV. I look for the remote and turn it off. Next, I get the afghan sprawled on the back of the couch and bends down to cover Park with it. I smile to myself as I notice her mouth slightly open, her steady breathing a sign of deep slumber.  Unconsciously, my fingers tuck some stray strands of hair away from her face to the back of her ear.

Park smiles and I thought for a moment that she woke up but she didn’t. “Ice cream” she softly mutters.

I stifle a laugh and shake my head. What do I do with this girl?

I wake her up a couple of hours later with my foot shaking her calf. “Hey, wake up. Park! Wake up!”

“Ugh! What’s your problem?” her face is all scrunched up as she slowly sits up.

“I want to eat.”

“Then eat. Why did you wake me up?”

“Let’s go to the night market.”

Her eyebrows rise. “What?”

“C’mon” I pull her arm to make her stand up. “I’ve been waiting for hours. It’s almost 10PM!”

She looks confused.

“You slept for hours” I say.

“I’m tired. You go alone.”

“How could you? What if I get mobbed out there?”

“Wear your wig and a face mask. You’ve done it before…”

“Yeah … but not alone.”

“Don’t be such a baby …”

“I’ll buy you some ice cream if you come with me plus you can eat all the street food you want.” There, I laid down my bait. And sure enough, we were out of the house within minutes. No one loves ice cream and street food more like she does.

When we got back home, it was almost 2AM. After putting away the groceries, we decided to watch some movies and settled on the couch. We did rock, paper, scissors to decide who will choose the movie and Park wins. 50 First Dates it is.

As soon as the film starts, Park places both feet on my thighs. She wants a massage. We always do this and take turns after a long shooting day. 

She’s munching on some microwaved popcorn as watch the movie.

“Aren’t you full yet?” I ask. I can’t believe her tiny frame can handle that much food. I mean, where does it all go?

“Movie nights can never be without popcorn.” She mumbles in between munching. “Here, have some …” She reaches over and shoves kernels in my mouth.

And she continued to feed me since I was busy massaging her feet and calves throughout the movie.

The next day, Park helped me read over some of scripts for some TV dramas being offered to me for review.

I looked over one and it’s a medical drama. I read the synopsis and toss it back on the pile. Seungri is already doing a medical drama. I don’t want him to come and offer acting advices just because he did one first. That guy is so over himself sometimes.

I pick another. It’s a spy drama. Hmmm … maybe this one would be more interesting. I motioned for Park who is already reading one script, to move over and make room for me on the couch. We take up the opposite sides but shared the afghan to cover our feet.

After a while, I hear her chuckling. I raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

“This is funny” she chuckles again. “I think you should do this …”

I went back to my reading.

In a few minutes, she’s laughing out loud. She’s even slapping the couch with her hand as if she couldn’t contain her mirth.

“What’s so funny?” I lower down the spy script and reach out to get the one she’s reading. She avoided my attempt and hides it behind her back.

“Hey, I’m not done reading. This is supposed to be for the first 5 episodes and so far, the four I’ve read are hilarious. I’ve one more left to go …”

I tried to be patient and instead of pouting, I get up to fetch tetra packs of orange juice.

“Thanks” Park absentmindedly tells me and goes back to reading. I picked up the spy drama again.

When she’s done, she’s all smiles. “I really think you should do this” she declares, holding up the book-binded script.

“Judging from your reaction, I take it its comedy” I tell her. “I can’t do comedy.”

“It’s rom-com” she says.

“There’s still comedy.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m telling you, this script will hit daebak! I can completely see you doing this one.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, I haven’t got a funny bone in my body and I can’t even do variety. What makes you think I can do that?”

“C’mon … you should try to step out of your comfort zone once in a while. Do something different.”

“I think this one’s good” I hold up the script I’m reading. “The hero plays a genius computer analyst for the Blue House but he’s really a spy out for revenge because the President got his true father killed.”

Park is looking at me like she’s completely bored out of her mind. “Let me guess” she taps a finger on her chin, “its City Hunter 2.0”

“It’s not” I refute. “It’s not similar to City Hunter.”

“I bet that in that story, the hero falls for the President’s daughter and is conflicted whether he would carry out his revenge and ends up getting killed in the end by saving the girl he loves.”

My eyes grow wide. “Wow!” I breathed. “How did you know?”

“Tch. Those action dramas get pretty boring. They almost always have the same storylines and what’s up with another spy character? Aren’t you tired of playing that role? I mean in Iris you were already this villainous spy and in The Commitment you were also a spy. People will get bored and you’ll be stereotyped and will forever be casted in only those kinds of roles, you know.”

I was about to open my mouth because I felt like I needed to defend myself but she almost jumps on me and deposits the script she was reading on my lap.

“That one” she smiles, “that one is completely original. It’s literally out of this world.”

I pick it up. “Go on. Read it” she excitedly says and clasps her hands together.

I begin to but then she steals my attention.

“It’s about an alien who visits the Earth during the Joseon era but then something happened and he got left behind. So since he can’t go back home, he had to stay and live here but had to assume different identities because he doesn’t grow old. In the present time, he meets this A-list actress who is so famous but clueless and is a diva much like you. She’s the funny one. The alien guy on the other hand doesn’t show much emotion and kinda stoic. He’s also grumpy as a grandpa and is aloof and apathetic. Also, very much like you. Come to think of it, the writer may have written the character with you in mind. I mean you already have an alien personality … You would totally feel at home doing this. It won’t be much of a stretch with your real character. The only difference is, the alien guy has superpowers!”

“Are you done?” I deadpanned after her litany.

“What? Don’t tell me that did not get you interested …”

I shake my head. “I don’t know …”

“You know what I heard when they gave me that script to give it to you? They said that they are already in talks with Jun Ji Hyun! Freaking Ji “Sassy Girl” Hyun!” Park is bouncing off the couch now. “If she signs up and you do this, it would elevate your status! Imagine! This is your dream coming true, Choi! Think about it!”

I caught her excitement and I think of the possibilities. Being considered to do this drama with an A-lister like herself is a great honor. I would be a fool not to grab the opportunity.

I look at Park’s shining eyes. “I’ll read it first.” I say but she already has this Cheshire grin like she already knows what the outcome will be.

Later that night, we are once again at the overused couch. This time, I get to pick the movie and I choose Taken. Park walked in with a huge bowl of ice cream and sits beside me.

I’m eating Pringles, the plain ones and I occasionally dip them in her bowl of ice cream until she complains. “Stop! You’re getting salt on my ice cream!” she pushes me away with her feet.

“Don’t be selfish. I bought you that, remember?”

She lets out a huff. “Why don’t you get your own bowl?”

“I’m too lazy …” I own up.

“Fine! You finish this” she hands over her bowl. “I’ll get myself a new one.”

I smile, satisfied. Park may always complain but she does what I want in the end.

When the movie is done, we were too full to go to sleep yet and it was still early so we watch regular broadcast and decided on Happy Sunday. After a while, during one commercial break, her face shows up.

Her.

The face that has been on my mind for years.

“Ummm … I can change the channel if you’d like” Park offers.

“No, leave it. It’s fine” I reply with a wave of a hand.

When the commercial is done, Park turns to me and said. “Can I tell you something?”

I turn to face her, a sign that she go on.

“I’m actually a fan of Shin Min Ah.” She rushes out in a breathe. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Why would I be mad about that?” I ask.

She shrugs. “I just want you to know so when I go fangirling over her, I won’t feel guilty and make you feel like I’m being disloyal to you.”

I lightly kick her under the afghan. “Do I seem like that petty to you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m not. So you can fangirl over her all you want.”

“Really?” she smiles. “You know what? What I really liked about her first are her dimples. Back when I was I was a kid, I used to think that if I drill a hole in my face through my fingers every day, I would grow dimples. I used to do this,” she demonstrates as she places her forefingers on both sides of her face and smiles and pokes just right at the bottom of the apple of her cheeks.

“I was so disappointed when after a month, nothing happened. I thought it would make me look beautiful.”

“You are beautiful” I instantly answer. “In your own way.”

She sticks out her lips and sighs depressingly. “These days, I feel ugly.”

“How can you say that? Did you forget about the hearts you’ve broken recently? The headwriter was asking about you the other day.” I tease.

This time, she’s the one who kicks me. Hard. “Ugh! Don’t remind me” she whines and hides her face in her hands.

I laugh. Park is quite the heartbreaker in the set of my movie. I’ve noticed that some of the male staffs are always attentive towards her and I heard that a few have asked her out but she always decline their invitation. Even one co-star fell for her charms and even asked me if Park has a boyfriend. I told him none and that made him smile. He said that he’ll ask her out and I told him “Good luck with that.”

As expected, he came back dejectedly and was quite put out on why I didn’t tell him the truth about Park.

“What truth?” I asked him.

“That she plays for the same team.” He answered.

I frowned. “I don’t understand you …”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know?” he asked incredulously.

I must have looked irritated because then he revealed. “She says she’s not interested in men.”

I laughed at that and sought Park to confirm what she said. She told me that she said that she was not interested to get into a relationship because she hates men and not interested at the moment. She said that she went a little bit harsh because she got tired of guys asking her out.

The next day, word got around and the misunderstanding have grown out of proportion. Park, apparently, is now a lesbian.

If Park thought that that would solve her problem, she thought wrong. Boy, was she wrong because the following day, a couple of female staff were asking her out. For a date! It was freaking hilarious how Park came barging in my dressing room almost in tears. She refused to accompany me for a week and let Jjangme sub for her.

I never forget to send jabs about it when I can and it always makes her feel frustrated. Like now.

“You should have just told them that they’re not you’re type.” I suggested.

She rolls her eyes.

“Come to think of it, what is your ideal type anyway?”

“I don’t have any!” she replies tersely. “I used to think that I have one but he turned out to be a major jerk so I don’t have one anymore.”

“C’mon, just a hypothetical one …”I coaxed. “Don’t tell me you don’t have plans of dating anyone in the future…”

“What does that have to do with my ideal type?” she asks grumpily, crossing her arms on her chest.

“So I’ll know who I’ll introduce to you. Who knows I may know somebody who is close to your type …”

“How about you? What’s your ideal type?” she returns the question to me.

“It never changed” I reply truthfully.

Her eyes grew soft. “So, you still like Shin Min Ah.”

“Not specifically her” I denied.

“Yeah, right.” She smirks.

“Why are we talking about me? I was asking you …”

She sighs. “I don’t have a specific type I guess … but I wouldn’t mind if I meet someone like Liam Neeson or Adam Sandler.”

“You like old guys?”

“They are not old” she defends them.

“They are like what? 10? 20 years older?”

“Age is just a number” she quotes. “Someone with a sense of humor like Adam Sandler would be great. Now, Liam Neeson.” She smiles like a cat that’s caught its breakfast. “He is one hot DILF.”

“A what?!”

“He is one hot Daddy I’d love to f-“

I stop her mouth from opening with a forefinger on her lips. “I know what DILF means …”

“Then why did you ask?” she looks perplexed. “Bom says that I need to get laid.”

“Seriously Park, what did I say about verbal filter?”

She pouts. “Well …” she began, “I sometimes forget that I’m talking to a guy.”

Wait. What did she just say? She forgets that I’m a guy? That was an insult, right?

“You forget. That I’m a guy.” I say, all serious.

She nods. “I get too comfortable around you that I sometimes feel like instead of a man, I’m with a girlfriend, you know?” She’s smiling and looking at me like this should make me feel better. “Except of course you’re not a girl.”

Wait. She doesn’t see me as a guy and now I am more like a girl. Great Park! What a way to make me feel better how?

“Although most of the time, you act more like a kid so I feel like I don’t have to filter myself because I can just tell you everything and you wouldn’t understand but surprisingly, you do, you know?” She smiles up at me again.

Do I know? Wow! This girl!

“Let me see if I got you correctly” I say, deceptively calm. “Apparently, I go from a not a man, to a seem like a girl, to a kid but surprisingly not a kid … am I right?”

“Yeah” she replies cheerfully.

“You do realize that those all sounded like insults right?”

“B-but –“

I shake my head and sigh. “I don’t know why I bother with you …”

I move to stand up but she holds my arm and looks contrite. “I… I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. If that’s what you felt, then I’m sorry.”

Her head is hanged low and I sit back down.

She looks back at me. “What I meant to say was … what I really meant to say was being with you is comfortable. It’s like … like …” she purses her lips and twitch them to the side, her eyes looking up as if deep in thought. When it looks like she found the word she was looking for, her face brightens. “I know! You’re like a teddy bear!” Then she motions with her hands. “A giant teddy bear.”

And this, is supposed to make me feel all better? Great! I was demoted from being a human being to an inanimate object.

“Park –“

“Listen,” she interrupts me, “teddy bears are great! A teddy bear is like a friend who is always there and never goes away. It’s like he’s always ready to listen to everything and won’t get tired of listening ever. He never passes judgment and stays with you whether you’ve been bad or good. When you need a hug, he will always be ready for one. It doesn’t matter whether you’re sad or happy or frightened … you can always count on a teddy bear. Right?”

I mull over the things that she said and didn’t reply.

With one quick movement, she moves to my lap and hugs me then kisses me goodnight. “Thank you for being a teddy bear, Choi” she whispers.

Within the blink of an eye, she was gone to her room and I was left there on the couch, still trying to absorb what had happened.

And I think to myself, maybe, being a teddy bear is not half as bad as I thought it’d be.

********************************************

A/N:

Hello lovelies! Comment, subscribe and vote!

As usual, no time to proofread. I may check next week and edit when I find the time.

How do you like the story so far? So, let’s all pretend that TOP is Do Min Joon from My Love From Another Star, okay? This has a twist, I promise. Actually, when I was watching that series, I sometimes would imagine TOP and Dara acting as the main leads. LOL

I’ll introduce a new character next chappie!

Check these out – Sharing You and Against All Odds

Also, I have a new story and it’s only posted in Wattpad. The reason is because it’s written in Taglish so only Filipino readers will be able to understand it. Please check it out if you have Wattpad accounts. I am planning to publish the rest of my stories there when I find the time. Please follow this link -  http://www.wattpad.com/story/29687289-dirty-little-secret

Song for the day is Somewhere Over the Rainbow from the 50 First Dates OST - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHJne7aUodk&list=PL16175D351B25E427

If you have comments, suggestions or violent reactions, feel free to state your case below.

*bisous*

~mzbookworm4life